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A Comedy of Errors!

08 Feb

I have been meaning to write this post since long but damn the writer’s block(read laziness)!

The content is highly amusing even for the central character in all the hocus pocus, which I am going to take you through. First, the incidents are in no particular order nor do they intend to bring across the “Once bitten, twice shy” jazz. Second, all of it is real and however far fetched they might sound, it is one hundred percent non fiction. So here we go:

a) She was tiny and chubby. Doing the stupidest things in the world was her panache. A pink polka dotted frock with a flowery head gear made her look cute. She wanted to explore the world even at the age of 6. A cousin, one year older to her, was visiting. Another cousin, a month old, was on vacation, in the same house. The two older musketeers were debating on who had a greater sensibility quotient. Incidentally, they were whizzing around the house while they were having perhaps a discussion, crucial to their existence at that point in time. They came across a weird looking bottle with a small pout. She was immediately curious. She used all her physical might to open the lid, to no avail though. The cousin suggested, “Who don’t you put it up to your mouth and see what it is”?

She obeyed almost immediately. Lo and Behold, she almost jumped when the content in the flask touched her lips. The liquid spilled out and was all over her face, neck and a part of it on her hands too. The container fell off her hand. Any guesses?

The month old cousin was responsible for the chaotic state. The weird looking bottle was a hot water flask, acting as an aid to the Cerelac that went down her teeny weeny throat. It scathed her to the brim. And what followed? Well, not much. A series of sessions with the plastic surgeon, generous slathering of Burnol and a lot of mollycoddling.

Who was higher on the quotient? Care to answer?

b) I still have no freaking clue as to why she wondered she could be a lady Tenzing? The school she went to, like all missionary schools, had a chapel just next to it. It was one of the most beautiful places she had seen, with the statue of the crucified Jesus on a wall outside, a huge candle holder which could house about a million candles in her small imaginative head, lots of empty space to run around and her absolute favorite, three mounds of green earth which she called mountains. The biggest was Mount Everest and almost reached her shoulders. The other two were relatively small and did not pump in as much adrenaline as climbing the biggest one did. This was her haunt after school for the half an hour she had to wait till her rickshaw arrived to take her back home. The rickshaw puller could hear from only one ear. She always wondered how somebody’s ear could have a gaping hole. Shoot me if I digress the next time.Please!

One fine afternoon, she was sitting with Blyton at the foot of the hill. Yes, Everest. Her not so reliable friend gave her an idea. Lets try and catch each other while we run up and down the mountains. Game? Yeah,sure! Little did she realize that the other girl was a monkey covered in human form. In one scary attempt to save her skin, she gathered courage and climbed up the mountain in one rush, in one go. At the pointed tip, she stood and looked around. She had managed to conquer the whole wide world. She was as happy and sprightly as a newly wed. Now the challenge! Very carefully, she tried to sit and slide down and in the process, emulated Humpty Dumpty in a slightly different fashion. She rolled down to have a great fall, perhaps the greatest ever! Fresh, bright red blood was oozing out of her knees. She was petrified. A little giddy in the head too. A sequence of events followed. 3 stitches in the knee, without anesthesia that is, and a heightened kelloid formation to mark the sacred beginning of madness in life.

c) She was a happy kid. The red car formed the basis of her existence and happiness. Books were a close second. She used to pick up imaginary passengers and drop them at their required destinations, demand a certain amount of fare from them, be delighted if they asked her to keep the change and run her dedicated cab service daily. She used to drive people mad, literally that is. Constantly on the move, she was always wondering why she wasn’t allowed to drive on the streets with her little car. It was almost perfect with a steering wheel and a seat where could keep her small bottle of water and kitchen set on. To her utter consternation, she was always refused the privilege to take on the roads. Fed up with her, her mother told her to take the car upto the terrace and drive it to her heart’s fill. She tried to drive it up the stairs and couldn’t figure out why it always kept slipping down. She consoled herself and dragged it up, mustering all the strength she could. She drove the birds around, told them stories, tried to drive the car on the railing and after an hour, decided she would come down. The staircase provided the exact gradient to do that. She drove the car down and in an attempt to showcase bravery, toppled over and over again, and fell out of her car at the base. What followed?

Lets keep that for another post. But I can tell you that her spirit wasn’t marred and inspite of all the stupid accidents she had, she is one adventurous freak, even now!

By the way, in Odiya she was christened “Atharpi”, one who tripped and kept falling down.

But then haven’t you heard of the adage, “To fall and rise is the mark of greatness”?

*Chuckles*

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24 Comments

Posted by on February 8, 2011 in As I see it

 

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24 responses to “A Comedy of Errors!

  1. thereluctantreformist

    February 8, 2011 at 3:09 am

    Ha ha . I have been through so many of such incidents for being humpty dumpty for the whole of my school life . Did evoke a lot more than chuckles .

     
    • Shruti Parija

      February 8, 2011 at 11:08 am

      The whole idea was to get these oft forgotten incidents outta the rusted memory 🙂
      Thanks for the read!

       
  2. Deebashree Mohanty

    February 8, 2011 at 11:01 am

    Hey… i dont know why but i feel dejected by this post. May be it is just another one of those “bad” days that i am suffering from…. But i fail to see the humour in this post. Or may be that is what, you, the author is waiting to achieve? If so, then brilliant work shruti, brilliant is an understatement.

    Thinking aloud – This post doesnt evoke “chuckles” because it gives one (read ME) the insight into this gruesome and horrifying BIG BAD WORLD. A reality that i would best ignore. Yes, i agree that one becomes a seeker at the end of such incidences. But does innocence have to stand this test of ‘ torture’ everytime. Is it a prerequisite to suffer endlessly in order to ‘learn’ things in life? Questions that have forced themselves on me…

    Kudos to “her” with the undying spirit. So what if it crushes her innocence. And, perhaps, this is for the better.

    Do i need to say more? Seldom has a post evoked such feelings in a reader. Keep it up.

     
    • Shruti Parija

      February 8, 2011 at 11:23 am

      Your comment most certainly gives me a new perspective about the post. First, it wasnt a big bad world when she experienced all of it. This was purely an attempt to recapture some of the inane churlish childhood incidents which are washed away with time, more often dismissed. For me, these are as precious as the bigger and more profound ones that have happened to me in the past few years.
      Second, Innocence is a relative term, as I see it. If one manages to keep it alive despite and inspite of the “torture”, he has learnt it all and kept his spirit intact too 🙂
      Glad that you chose to go beyond just the text!My thinking caps just came up 😛
      Guess thats why bloggers are zilch without the constructive criticism/comments that come along!
      Thanks a lot Bhauja 🙂

       
  3. Arun

    February 8, 2011 at 11:05 am

    Great compilation. Painfully delightful. Your choice of words is perfect. The best part is that the stories can relate to anyone around. Right now I can picture you doing that crazy stuff, switch the ‘she’ to a ‘he’ & I’d feel like I’m reading my own biography.

    As good as it could ever get. 🙂

     
    • Shruti Parija

      February 8, 2011 at 11:09 am

      Thanks Arun. I hope you pictured my younger self doing the antiques 😀

       
  4. Abhishek

    February 8, 2011 at 3:17 pm

    This very much remind me of my own heroics back then which do get reflected with similar stitches and bruises 🙂 .. As a blogger i am tempted to render all these incidents a certain metaphorical tinge but will rather abstain from doing that.. rather this post is more of a celebration of simplicity and innocence .. It reminds me of my childhood, of all i WAS . Nicely written, it leaves the door ajar to take a peek into your adventures and at the same time give me a reason to stop, reflect and smile at my past as well.. which had certainly lesser stitches and significantly more of grey matters 🙂

     
    • Shruti Parija

      February 8, 2011 at 8:43 pm

      Haha!Strangely I was happier with less of the gray matter.The whole point was to get you to remember your childhood…stitched or non stitched 😀

       
  5. Mahua Maharana

    February 8, 2011 at 3:41 pm

    Shruti, I really loved reading these. In the first incident, I would say the month younger cousin is a better person, she is curious, she is adventurous and she is not afraid to face the world. Unfortunately the other girl is very typical – as we see around, sort of derives vicarious pleasures, may be I am using a very strong term but you see in a way I agree with
    Deebashree.
    I loved reading the post and it surely is a brilliant compilation. Everyone who reads this will be able to relate to this. I went almost a half century back and a lot of memories came rushing in. Innocence, spirit, bullying, surprises, love, life et al…..love you
    Keep writing….

     
    • Shruti Parija

      February 8, 2011 at 8:59 pm

      I am all smiles when you say that though I will save myself from the temptation of being judgemental 🙂
      Glad you liked it!Nothing better than reliving the days of the yore at times.Helps you put things in perspective!Thanks a ton.Love you too Mahua Di!

       
  6. S

    February 8, 2011 at 8:32 pm

    lol…how fun! that was one cool kiddo. you know what we should do some of these things sometime! And mountains of green soil was the best part 😀

     
    • Shruti Parija

      February 8, 2011 at 8:57 pm

      Cool Kiddo takes a bow 🙂
      Next time you are here, we know what to do 😀

       
  7. amrita89

    February 8, 2011 at 9:46 pm

    the post was so picture perfect as if one can imagine the little girl right in front of her!!!!!
    might be this is what is called the power of words!!!!!!

    loved it:)

     
  8. CM

    February 8, 2011 at 9:57 pm

    hmm…gud…but this one lacked the finesse that was present in the others…thought that can be neglected as it was one of those “scratch ur head, recall and jot down” writeups…keep writing!!…:)

     
    • Shruti Parija

      February 8, 2011 at 10:01 pm

      Point noted CM.Thanks for the read 🙂

       
  9. Abhishek Parija

    February 8, 2011 at 11:39 pm

    Amazing read . . . .beautifully penned down. . .you everest climber 😉 . . .
    Was smiling my way through the post . . .keep them coming 🙂

     
  10. Abhilash

    February 8, 2011 at 11:53 pm

    Lovely… 🙂 was imagining u throughout 😛 d story still continues…just d poor victims (read cyclists n poor ppl on d strts) have chnged 😛

     
    • Shruti Parija

      February 9, 2011 at 12:10 am

      The story will always continue and then my autobio will be one hell of a read 🙂

       
  11. Udit

    February 9, 2011 at 10:02 am

    Just keeps getting better with time. Now that I am back from the journey down the memory lane, wanna confirm that the central character still remains the ‘Atharpi’ she used to be 15 years back. Just that now others get more damaged than her.
    P.S. Loved the ‘tiny & chubby’ and ‘humpty dumpty’ phrases used for the visual character sketch 😀

     
    • Shruti Parija

      February 9, 2011 at 9:08 pm

      Am no longer an atharpi 😐
      Humpty Dumpty says thanks! 🙂

       
  12. Nilanjan

    February 9, 2011 at 10:09 pm

    Nice recollection of the past.. Btw that everest fall was awesome :)… And i agree with lash only d victims hve changd bt d story continues 😉

     
    • Shruti Parija

      February 9, 2011 at 10:18 pm

      Haha!I guess I have to go with the majority.Thanks for the read 🙂

       

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